Chapter 13: Some of that East Coast Flava!

Sydney life continues. We have 2 new Dutch friends, Eveline and Lisanne - the least politically correct people on Earth. Give them any taboo subject and they find it hilarious. They affectionately refer to us as 'Jostis' which is Dutch for 'Down-Syndrome'. How sweet. Rich and the girls went on a surf camp weekend and Rich wanted this photo on the blog of him in a 6 pack competition. It illustrates nicely why it is that Aussie girls find English boys irresistible.

And the winner is...

Well, at least now we have a wooden spoon to go with our wooden bowl.

I stayed in Sydney to spend the weekend with my German friend, Marie. Despite her racial handicap we have so much fun. Took a speedboat tour of the harbour. I tell her I only spend time with her because I am trying to improve relations between England and Germany and that I am sacrificing my own time here in Sydney to try and build social and political bridges between our two great nations. She says I'm full of shit. As a consequence my German has improved dramatically. I can now say 'Good day. How are you? Would you like something to drink?' Marie has learnt the phrases 'Injection Molding' and 'Toad in the Hole'. It's very much a give and take relationship.

There's Something About Marie

Leaving Sydney behind (for now) we have embarked on a voyage up the east coast. First stop was Byron Bay. Probably the nicest beach so far on the trip - crystal clear water, pure white sand and bikinis so skimpy you could slice cheese with them. I told Rich we looked stupid, but he insisted.

Then we headed inland to Nimbin. A hippie commune that basically comprises of a few shops, a couple of pubs and a cannabis museum. As an example of the pace of life in Nimbin on our busiest day we went to a candle factory then went to the pub to play on the WWF pinball machine. Exhausting.

Get a job Hippie!

On to the Gold Coast where we were reacquainted with Erin and Steph - the loopy drunks we met in Beijing. We stayed with Steph in her massive house right on the beach. Our livers had been prepared. Several hours into our drinking session I held the bottle of whatever I was drinking 6 inches from my face and managed to focus on the label with one eye 'Produced with the aid of fish and eggs'. Mmmmm - the good stuff. Went out in Surfers Paradise. Lost Steph. She thinks she was singing in the street with a busker or tramp but can't really remember.

6 months on, nothing changed

Escaping their clutches for a second time we rocked into Brisbane and had a very Aussie day. It began with a trip to the late Steve Irwin's Australia Zoo. Here we met Graham.

A cracking snap

Just outside the Crocoseum is a fitting tribute to Steve. Messages of love and peace, all written on Crocodile Hunter shirts. In the evening we went to our first ever Aussie Rules game between the Brisbane Lions and Hawthorne Hawks. Very violent. Wicked cool.

Next up - Fraser Island - the worlds biggest sand island. We went in a group of 9 (including token efficient German). Unsupervised we piled into a 4 x 4 and drove around the island to various points of interest and natural beauty. As all the water on the island is filtered through the sand you can drink it while you swim, of course taking care not to drink near a smiling kiddy.

Fraser Island

Saw sharks swimming a few meters off the coast. At night we stayed at an Aboriginal campsite and played silly drinking games around the fire. Whilst having dinner one night I said "This spag-bol is delicious. Compliments to the chef and LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT BASTARD!!!" No, I wasn't pointing at fat Barry, but rather the Huntsman spider the size of my head that was loitering nearby above us - probably waiting for some of the spag-bol.

Goon is a good thing

The campsite was run by 2 Aboriginals and on our last night came and sat with us round the fire and did a little singing and dancing. Of course we had to join in. Our dancing was probably only just better than when we first started going to the PIG, but make no mistake, just as repellent to the girls.