Chapter 19: Her Name is Rio...

Moving into Brazil we got stopped at the Police checkpoint. Out of a bus full of South Americans the Brazilian cops search the bags of the only 2 Peckerwoods on the bus. Presumably trying to find some contraband to use to fine us. Fortunately my kilo of coke was still taped to my thigh from the border crossing and my Desert Eagle .50 was tucked nicely into my sock. Racism on a bus. Whoever heard of such a thing??

We arrived at Sao Paulo which is just stupidly large. We spent a couple of days aimlessly wandering around and picked up a new friend, Alex, who had just been mugged in broad daylight. Bastards took everything. Sao Paulo ain't that safe.

So we headed off to Rio de Janeiro. Just possibly the most beautiful city on Earth. We rode the cable car to the top of Sugarloaf Mountain and it's not hard to see why it's known as...

The City of God

One of the Live Earth concerts was held 15 minutes from our hostel on Copacabana Beach so we chilled on the sand, drinking and listening to the sounds of Macy Gray, Pharrell Williams and Lenny Kravitz. It was estimated one million people turned up. We met a bunch of 'volunteers' on the beach. I use the term loosely as their volunteer work consists of teaching 18 year old Brazilian girls how to play football. Hmmmm. Bet they hate Mondays.

Live Earth, Rio

We have spent a few days relaxing on the beaches and the weather has been perfect. Of course whilst on the beach you can't help but notice the girls of Rio. Fuck Me. They certainly curve in and out in all the right places and they damn well know it too!! However, since we are in Rio we have to behave ourselves all the time because someone is always watching.....

I am the Light of the World

Christo Redentor. Christ the Redeemer. One of the new 7 Wonders. Millions of people all around the World spend their entire life searching for Jesus. We found him in 25 minutes. It was easy. He was right on top of a big mountain! We just got a taxi there. Salvation is ours.

The slums of Rio known as Favelas are pretty dangerous places and you need to take a guide to go in. So we did a 'Favela' tour or as we preferred to call it 'Kiddies with Guns' tour. Some of the kids guns were taller than they were and it looked like they were breaking a sweat just holding them up. We did learn a lot about the way of life there. No-one pays for gas, water or electricity because everyone has illegal connections - like when Richie and Eddie steal Mr Rottweiler's gas. Also, the best time to buy drugs is when it rains because the Police don't like going out in the wet and as soon as it stops raining they all appear again. For this reason they are known as 'The Worms'.

Drink Up Boys

One of the most anticipated events of our trip was hang gliding over Rio and it certainly didn't disappoint. We soared gracefully with the birds. At least once a week since Rich and I were 12 years old we have had the same conversation.

"Ever been hang gliding?"
"No, you?"
"No."

"Well thats exhausted that one then."

After 13 years, the joke has finally run its course.

Just Hanging...

Over the past week I have fallen in love with Rio (the city, not Ferdinand). I have a feeling mine and her paths will cross again. A German once told me of a saying they have: In life, you always meet twice. Well, I hope with me and Rio this is true.

Last Friday the 13th we went diving with sharks. This time we are flying on Bolivian Airlines. Yeeeees. Safe.