Chapter 24: It's a Small World After All

Twelve months ago I asked the question 'Is this World all it's cracked up to be?' Let me see....

Through 5 continents and 19 countries we walked the Great Wall of China, trekked through mountains in Vietnam, watched the sun rise over Angkor Wat, partied through the night on Thai beaches, went diving at the Great Barrier Reef, camped under the stars in the Aussie Outback, gazed up at the fireworks over Sydney Harbor on New Years Eve, Island Hopped around Fiji, jumped out of a plane in New Zealand, climbed to the top of the Franz Josef Glacier, watched the Cup Final in Buenos Aires, met Jesus in Brazil, stayed in a Salt Hotel on the Bolivian Salt Plains, survived the Worlds Most Dangerous Road, hiked the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu, watched a Broadway show in New York, I could go on....

Planet Earth

But perhaps more important than the places we visited and the things we saw are the people we met. Some we only knew for an hour, others, like some sort of groinal tropical rash, we couldn't get rid of for 6 months (I'm looking at you Maycock). Some of you opened your homes, some of you opened your wallets, some of you even opened your legs(!!) but all of you opened your hearts and for these reasons.... I salute you.

Join the Caravan of Love

You people showed us that groups of complete strangers coming from all walks of life can live, work and play together in peace and harmony (especially when there are no bloody Italians). Should any of our friends overseas find themselves washed up on the shores of our green and pleasant land, I'm sure neither of us will be too busy for a beer or two and reminisce about the good old days. You will find us in a small town in the south west of England, not far from Stonehenge. To most people it is simply known as 'The Centre of the Universe', but those of us who know it best call it by a different name....

Welcome to Hell

As a race, we English are quite lazy at learning other languages. So while away I did my best to right this wrong. I can now say 'My frog has a small brain, but she is very pretty' in Spanish, 'Would you like a drink? I'm lovin' it!' in German and 'Don't m*****bate over those photos of us' in French. All useful stuff and I am hoping to drop these and other such phrases into my day to day conversation.

As well as foreign languages, I have also learnt a lot about life in general. Below are my 7 key rules for a successful World Tour:

1. Chinese people cannot operate umbrellas safely - stay well out of their way.
2. Don't go on a date and order a pineapple - you will just look daft.
3. If you have to ride a moped, do it as far away from Hanoi as possible.
4. Don't eat before praying in Fiji unless you want to get a bollocking from a woman who looks like a cross between Moira Stuart and Jonah Lomu.
5. Thai buckets & Go Johnny Go Go Go Go are a wicked combination. Try it!
6. Don't get into a conversation with Germans about dental hygiene.

and most importantly....

7. Don't accidently see a friend naked on her bed with her legs apart and try to diffuse the awkwardness of the situation by saying "Hey! It looks just like the Batcave!"

So there we have it. The trip is over, but what a time it's been. There has been a bit of blood, a lot of sweat and even one or two tears. Pearls of wisdom from a friend of ours:

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

The only question that needs answering now is what's next for Team Excellent Adventure? The answer, my friends, is blowin' in the wind. The answer is blowin' in the wind...

The End